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Peter Kjærulff
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Welcome to The Ringbearer ́s Diary. It has taken me about 25 years to write it, and perhaps it will take the reader another 25 years to read it. But it really does not matter, for now it is here; now it is finished, and this is what counts.
   The Ringbearer ́s Diary describes a journey through a magical landscape, and as magical landscapes have the ir own rules, we discover what these rules imply only upon entering the landscape. Naturally, readers come from “many different regions of the mind”. The magical landscape knows this, and as we always bring with us our own perspective, the landscape is organized in such a way that at first glance it may be observed from different angles. If we are fortunate , we bring with us more than one “angle”, and this makes the journey much easier.
   At least one of the following three methods of observation will always be found in those people who are interested in travelling through magical landscapes: the intellectual, the religious, and the emotional approach. However, it is a fascinating feature of the landscape lying before us that gradually the different angles of approach align with one an other – they begin to overlap as our journey progresses - and when we reach the exit on the other side, the three angles of approach will have merged to shape an unbreakable whole.

To be on the safe side, I have written three prefaces - one for each of the three groups mentioned. Those who read with their feelings, I have named “the common reader”. Such readers are those who allow themselves to get carried away instantly or, contrarily, instantly hurry to leave the book. I recommend that the mentioned types of readers content themselves with reading their own personal preface, but you may take a glance at those of the others, too. After the three prefaces an introduction appears, for I think that one cannot be too thorough when it comes to finding out what life and the world are all about.
   And this is what the book is concerned with.



When, during my time as a student, I frequented academic circles, I often experienced that scientific theses and the presentation of same were accompanied by references – to cartoons, for instance. Carl Barks was a big name back then (the non-intellectual reader may look him up), and in order not to appear un-academic, I will start with a resume of a cartoon:

   Charles M. Schulz, The Peanuts: Schroeder plays his toy piano while Snoopy plays the violin standing atop the piano. Snoopy plays with great enthusiasm and finally breaks into dancing. Lucy (Linus´ pert big sister who is in love with Schroeder) is leaning against the piano. Snoopy has stopped dancing and playing – and then Lucy observes: “But is it art?”

   The thesis follows closely: with this book I will prove that it is possible to pursue a thought trail within the human consciousness in such a manner as to make the structure of the consciousness reveal itself to the researcher. Furthermore, I will establish that the consciousness of the human being is universal in its structure – the main structure is identical in each individual – so that each human expression (thought, speech, action, artistic expression, etc.) will be placeable in relation to common human and clearly definable standards of value. The result of my research will indicate that within the consciousness entrances and exits are found for constructive as well as destructive energy forms, and that the range of action of such energy forms is not limited to a temporary cultural norm. In its extreme consequence the human consciousness may point to the existence of God as well as the Devil. Thus, because of this span between absolute good and absolute evil, in reality my thesis comprises a description of all things concerning human thought and action. And the culmination of the thesis goes as follows: if we dare pursue a thought and the origin of same within the consciousness – answers are given to all that the heart desires to know, and further doors exist which may be opened to the possibility of answers to any question that anyone may care to ask in the future.

   When The Ringbearer´s Diary first appeared in 1985, a critic criticized the fact that I was able to answer any question I might care to ask. The objection was that (according to the critic´s perception) I had constructed a closed world vision – illustrated by a drawing by M.C. Escher, of two hands drawing each other. To make certain that nothing would be found outside the scope of this world vision, I had “invented” a number of convenient “filters” (he meant, the chakra system), so that everything became self-affirming.

   I completely understand his objection, and “from his window” I can certainly see that, as he writes, I display “a daunting psychological brutality” (wonderful expression, by the way) when I claim that prostitutes cannot use the money they earn by prostitution to obtain anything containing vital energy. However, the description of the consciousness – as it unfolds for the researcher who allows the originally chosen thought trail to tell its own story – contains a different social perspective from the one chosen by the critic. According to my research, those who prostitute themselves destroy themselves, and it is not possible to construct oneself by means of money which has consequent and pure self-destruction for its basis.

   The main objection of the critic – that we have at our hands a closed world vision which offers answers to the questions it comes up with by itself – leads to the logical consequence, that research must be connected with visible and measurable reality. To many people the chakra system is a myth or a product of Eastern religions. So it is understandable that the critic does not know anything about it and believes that it is something I have constructed myself. However, the chakra system is known in other contexts besides the religious, and this is demonstrated by none other than James Bond, in the film Tomorrow Never Dies, where he opens a box containing pointed objects intended for “chakra torture” (only the very intellectual person will grasp just how many layers are embraced by the humour of this pun).

   My reply is that the book the reader holds in their hand contains myriads of references to a visible and measurable reality, and that I agree with the critic in the unhealthy aspect of a self-explaining world vision which distances itself from traditional research and common sense. If my reader can catch me in any exclusion of reality, this book is not scientific.

   Scientific, in fact – is what this book is, even though it does not follow traditional standards for scientific character. The scientific vision originating from the circumstances regarding research in something as difficult as the object chosen – the human consciousness – may be plotted by means of a statement by Hans Sachs, who in the third act of Wagner´s Mastersingers answers Walther´s question concerning how to make “Ein Meisterlied”: you set your own rules, and then you stick to them. My scientific set of rules has been such: when I pursue a thought which gives me an image or an experience or a recollection, I demand that the trail indicated by the thought be pursued without faltering, without arguing, and with “reckless honesty”. I have experienced such a thing as recollections that seem to originate from earlier lifetimes. I have tried to trace the origins of such recollections through a never faltering urge to give precedence to the “naked statement” of the experience over the objections of any commentator (myself included). The fact that I have taken a lot of experiences seriously and at face value has separated me from traditional research, as no statistic material is found with relation to the trail I have followed – i.e. material researchable by anyone. I have researched into my own consciousness, and only I can research the consciousness that is "I". Is this unscientific, or is it the ultimate method?

   My end result demonstrates that such a thing as honesty is an incredibly efficient research tool. If I had deviated from the path in an attempt to comply with traditional psychological research, in truth I would have behaved unscientifically. And I would not have arrived at the quantities of details and the astonishing logic drawn by the psychological “map” the reader holds in their hand.

   So this book is a job of research into the consciousness on the conditions of the consciousness. It is the result of an original question and of further questions born from the first: if we take a human thought seriously and follow it to its origin – no matter what it may show us of contexts and associations – then where do we end up? Do we lack answers to the mysteries of life, because we dare not walk all the way? Is the human consciousness harmful, so that it may be dangerous to listen to it? Who decides the standards which measure what is scientific and what is not? Are deeper contexts found within the myths other than those we have hitherto seen, because no one has yet dared research the ultimate consequence of these myths? Are art and myths in reality a secret language which can be interpreted only when we reach that very place deep within the consciousness where we discover that God exists? Is the existence of God an unscientific research object? Do structures such as, for instance, the Cheops pyramid speak an actual language?

   I think that the answer, to the last question, for instance – is yes, and I may wish the intellectual reader good luck on their journey, firstly by recommending the preface for the ordinary reader, and secondly by quoting a very intelligent person, namely Hermann Hesse, who has got more than a mere glimpse of the internal references found in art, geometry, mathematics, and music. According to Hesse, each form of art, each scientific section holds its own piece of the puzzle – but if we join the pieces, we get a picture of everything, of the entire world order. For the benefit of the intellectual reader who has perhaps studied Russian or French rather than German, a translation is found below in the Preface for the ordinary reader.

“Diese Regeln, die Zeichensprache und Grammatik des Spieles, stellen eine Art von hoch entwickelter Geheimsprache dar, an welcher mehrere Wissenschaften und Künste, namentlich aber die Mathematik und die Musik (beziehungsweise Musikwissenschaft) teilhaben und welche die Inhalte und Ergebnisse nahezu aller Wissenschaften auszudrücken und zueinander in Beziehung zu setzen imstande ist. Das Glasperlenspiel ist also ein Spiel mit sämtlichen Inhalten und Werten unserer Kultur, es spielt mit ihnen, wie etwa in der Blütezeit der Künste ein Maler mit den Farben seiner Palette gespielt haben mag. Was die Menschheit an Erkenntnissen, hohen Gedanken und Kunstwerken in ihren schöpferischen Zeitaltern hervorgebracht, was die nachfolgenden Perioden gelehrter Betrachtung auf Begriffe gebracht und zum intellektuellen Besitz gemacht haben, dieses ganze ungeheure Material von geistigen Werten wird vom Glasperlenspieler so gespielt wie eine Orgel vom Organisten, und diese Orgel ist von einer kaum auszudenkenden Vollkommenheit, ihre Manuale und Pedale tasten den ganzen geistigen Kosmos ab, ihre Register sind beinahe unzählig, theoretisch ließe mit diesem Instrument der ganze geistige Weltinhalt sich im Spiele reproduzieren.“ (Hermann Hesse: Das Glasperlenspiel)




This is a book about seeking God. Probably, any religion should be able to say the same about its own books, but The Ringbearer´s Diary is neither a religion, nor a book introducing a new belief; The Ringbearer´s Diary clears a way through emotional landscapes which, obstinately resistant, try to prevent us from experiencing God. One of the classical resistances is the affirmation that we profess the wrong faith, so therefore God wants none of us. To some people, it is wrong to believe in reincarnation, and to others it is not wrong to believe in reincarnation. This book pursues a longing after the good, the true and the beautiful, and this longing has led me personally into an indescribable friendship with God. God is the best that exists, and for the individual who has experienced contact with him, there is “no return”: God is a reality, an actual person, and the perspectives of life are wonderful. To those who have yet to experience this wonder, the certainty of other people may well seem a little opinionated, and the obvious objection is that the world looks terrible and “how can God allow any such thing?” The answer is, in fact he does not allow it, and willingly he helps us make order. But in order for us to make order, we need to find out that nor do we allow that the world appears as it does. The sad aspects of the world only exist, because we humans allow such aspects to exist.

   Hope and assurance are needed for most people. Follow the trail I have laid out in this book, and know that it is possible to find God, no matter how “crazy” we think we are, or how unfit for God´s love other people may believe we are. Many people may say, “That path does not lead to God”, but then God perhaps says: “It actually does anyway.” In fact, God loves it, when we love the characteristics he has implanted in us. What these characteristics are, is a secret between ourself and him, but if we follow our conscience – the good, the true and the beautiful – then even the most unusual path will begin to shine. The problem is not God – the problem is the resistance we meet on our way towards him. He is immediately accessible – unless we are stuck in an idea that causes him to be distant. This book explodes its way through many such ideas. It introduces a true reformation and calls upon a revision of the ecclesiastical scriptures. It does not do so for revolutionary or religiously political reasons; it does so from a longing after seeing the religions dominated by statements by people who have actually experienced God, instead of the scriptures being honoured because of cultural traditions which no one has the courage to break.

   Naturally I cannot tell the reader about who God really is. My pen is unequal to this task. But I can tell you about the path, I followed, and lead my reader up to the moment when God dawned on me. Perhaps here is a plateau is found where we all meet, so that my path may inspire others to their path – so that the description of the journey of one individual may inspire others to commit to their own. Perhaps the formula is not found in the name of the path we walk along towards God, but in the actual act of walking. Judge for yourself.



A few words before you start.

So, I finally made it: a map – the map. If you think you are holding a book in your hands, you are wrong. This is a map, a map of the human mind. For a number of years I have suspected that stories concerning old maps are really not about treasure islands with hidden fortunes, but about our wish to find the fortune. However, this time it is different. This is, as I said, the map. And I can assure you there is something to find, if you dare go all the way. For one thing: money. And I do not mean pocket change, oh no – if you can find your way using this map you will find boundless wealth. There is a rainbow in there, too, and at the end of it, just as you have been told for centuries, there is a jar filled with pure gold.

   Promises such as this have tempted many a person to enter the fairy-tale kingdom of the mind. But there is something tricky about this route through the mind: you will have to listen. Imagine great heroes with countless, rippling muscles, shiny with oil, armed with swords, guns – or maybe a sharpened typewriter – entering this realm, just to be told that you have to listen. Put down your gun and listen very very carefully. Listen as if your life was at stake. Perhaps it is.

   It is quite difficult to turn your ears in the right direction. In fact, strange voices in this landscape will try to make you turn your head in the wrong direction, and if you do, you will fail miserably.

   But I am fond of my reader, and this is not a book for the chosen few. This is a book for anyone who wants to go all the way, who wants to seek – and find. Nevertheless, such secrets cannot be given away just like that: if you have not followed the trail you will not be able to even recognize the secret when you find it. So – in order to make this map work as it should, I have placed a lot of pitfalls and trapdoors in it. If you are not careful – you will simply fall out of the book. Let me give you a couple of examples:

   First of all, some truly effective pitfalls are hidden already in the introduction. I thought: we have to be sure that those who enter the real book (the second part: The Ring and the Pyramid and the third part: The Sphinx) are quite certain they are serious about maps of the mind. So if they are not – whoops – they will fall out through the bottom of the book after only a few pages. And you have to follow the path through the entire first part of the book (Wolfgang) in order to understand the second and the third part. (OK, I cannot resist: I have to reveal to you the first trapdoor – and how to pass it. It says (or rather, it makes you say): “Well, am I to believe this is a true story, or what?” And the answer is: don’t bother, just read the book.)

   Well – here are the promised examples:

Example no. 1:

A well-known music critic said to me: “If you were once Wagner, why haven’t you told us something we don’t already know?” This person’s problem, you see, was this: firstly, he thought that I was pleading the case of having been Wagner in a previous lifetime along with a number of other well-known persons. So the list of famous incarnations in the introduction entirely rattled him. He missed the point that this is not about me, but about experiences, so he fell out through the most evident of the first trapdoors (actually, there really is a lot of skulls painted on that particular trapdoor, if you look closely). Secondly, he read on, thinking it possible to read only the chapter about the Wagner-Ring (he had in fact fallen out of the first part of the book). And so he missed the point (it is possible that this may happen to a few Tolkien-fans, too) that this is not a book about the Wagner Ring or Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings – this is about what possibly lies behind the Wagner and Tolkien Ring-works. But you have to read the entire book to understand that. Only if you do so will you be able to see that Wagner and Tolkien both knew about the secret of The Cursed Ring and what it means. And they also knew that the exposure of the Ring would mean a return to the real human mind – which for centuries has been covered up by it.

   This was a couple of pitfalls to avoid. Allow me to offer you some advice: one brave author once said that in order to understand a book properly you need to read it at least five times. I have decided to be lenient with my reader and accept – twice. In fact, you do not really understand the book until the second time. It is when you read it again that you will hear yourself exclaiming things like “oh”, “I see” – “now I understand” etc.

Example no. 2:

One critic ridiculed the book claiming that I myself had invented the chakra system (he is mentioned in a more intellectual manner in the intellectual preface). Well, some of my readers may not know what the chakra system is, but hopefully they are wiser than this critic. He apparently thought as follows: “I haven’t heard of this chakra system, therefore it must be the author’s own invention. It is unhealthy to invent such a system from which you may receive the answers to all the questions you care to ask”.

   I trust the present reader is my friend (why else would you sit with this book in your hand?), and I can assure you: I did not invent the chakra system. I can only see and describe it, and to be quite honest with you – I find it thrilling and wonderful that it is finally possible to get some answers.

   Evidently, this fellow believed himself to be such an expert on the human mind as to be convinced that he already knew its secrets. So, why bother to read the book at all? This saves time for those readers who already know the human mind inside out – they need not walk any further.

Example no. 3:

One publisher returned the book (refusing to publish it, of course) saying it was “incoherent” (really meaning, it is a mess). This fellow missed the whole point completely, the point I tried to explain at the beginning of this introduction: you have to listen. And now I can tell you the secret of this book – tell you how to read it: you have to listen to the flow of thought that lies behind. (Somehow this seems obvious when you are aware of the fact that you are actually researching the human consciousness.) The said publisher apparently entertained the notion that “real books have a chronological order (!); you cannot jump back and forth in time in this way”.

   Well, he fell out of the book. Maybe he didn’t know the first rule concerning unknown territories: you have to stick to the path – as in the case of Mirkwood in Tolkien’s The Hobbit. You have to follow where the path leads, and not say: “The road curves to the right but I think it ought to continue straight on, so I intend to continue straight on. This is the most sensible thing: that the path follows me, instead of me having to follow the path.”

   So he was caught by the spiders, and he did not find the gold at the end of the rainbow.

Therefore, just be silent within – and listen – listen perhaps to the following “motto” – it says a lot about what kind of “virtual reality game” you have just opened:

These rules, the sign-language and grammar of the Game, constitute a kind of highly developed secret language drawing upon several sciences and arts, but especially mathematics and music (and/or musicology), and capable of expressing and establishing interrelationships between the content and conclusions of nearly all scholarly disciplines. The Glass Bead Game is thus a mode of playing with the total contents and values of our culture; it plays with them as, say, in the great ages of the art a painter might have played with the colours of his palette. All the insights, noble thoughts, and works of art that the human race has produced in its creative eras, all that subsequent periods of scholarly study have shaped into concepts and converted into our shared intellectual heritage – this entire, incredible amount of spiritual values the Glass Bead Game player plays like the organist on an organ. And this organ has attained an almost unimaginable perfection; its manuals and pedals range over the entire spiritual cosmos; its stops are almost beyond number. Theoretically, with this instrument it is possible to reproduce in the Game all the spiritual insights in the world that the human spirit is capable of embracing.” (Hermann Hesse: Das Glasperlenspiel)


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